hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize