dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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