my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize