yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
