i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
