maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize