im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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