...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
