I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
