I seem to have left my pride at pride
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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