He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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