Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Mom said you looked used
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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