i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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