Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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