with your own penis?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
