How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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