hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
