I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
All I want is dick and wine.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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