youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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