ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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