I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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