So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
