So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
