so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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