Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
