why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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