My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
