im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
