For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
