I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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