do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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