Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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