we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
