No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize