I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
