tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
