Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
