Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize