i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I understand Curling. That high.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
