i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
