All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize