I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Moan for me like Helen Keller
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
