I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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