hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
