I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
