in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
