Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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