Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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