he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
