Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
