He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
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