I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.