And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."