i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?