I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.