i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
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Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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