Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
