But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
