Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
