Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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