i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
