i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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