just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
