I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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