Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
